Love and Lies on The Bachelor
Posted on 02/27/10
With the ceaseless scheming, conflict, and competition, reality shows attract and often encourage master manipulators. If a season of reality TV is nothing more than a semester-long object lesson in lying, Rozlyn Papa from this season of ABC’s The Bachelor could teach a master class.
For those unfamiliar with Ms. Papa’s story, the 28 year-old model was booted from The Bachelor after her relationship with one of the show’s producers was revealed. In the latest episode Rozlyn was brought back to confront her fellow contestants and the host, Chris Harrison.
Though Rozlyn repeatedly rebuffed Chris’s questions about the affair, her body language betrayed the truth. During the interview she unintentionally sent signals, both verbal and nonverbal, indicating she was lying.
Verbal Cues
Absolutes:
When evaluating whether someone is lying it’s important to listen for language intended to convince rather than convey. For example, when Rozlyn was asked about the physical relationship she repeatedly answered using absolutes such as “absolutely not” or “never,” including when she said “on my child’s life, that never happened.” When a truthful person is trying to merely convey information, a simple “no” suffices. Try it out sometime—ask a close friend if they’ve ever committed murder or embezzled large amounts of money. Chances are they’ll just say “no” instead of invoking the lives of their offspring (although they may also think you’re crazy for asking).
Changing the Subject:
Answers that attempt to change the subject are another indication of deception. When the other women on the show shared their stories of the alleged indiscretions, Rozlyn tossed out more red herrings than a Finnish fish juggler. “I thought you guys were all beautiful. When I did the show I had so many guys that were like, ‘Oh, when are you going to fix me up with those girls.’” Note this response has no bearing on the question at hand—whether Rozlyn had an inappropriate relationship with a producer.
Answering Questions with Questions:
Questioning the questioner is another deception hot spot. During the interview, Rozlyn tried to turn the tables asking Chris Harrison, “What are you confused about? What was this physical relationship all about?” Evidently still very curious, Rozlyn continued questioning. After the other women confronted her about touching the producer’s thigh, Rozlyn said, “When did I touch someone’s thigh?” (switching pronouns from “him” to “someone” is another potential hot spot). When her former fellow contestants asked about her whereabouts on a night she wasn’t in bed Rozlyn asked, “Where else would I have been?” Answering by asking this question could indicate she was trying to come up the answer herself.
Nonverbal Cues
Self-touch Gesture
A self-touch gesture, what other experts may refer to as manipulators, pacifiers, or adapters, is a common movement we make when one part of our body touches another part, usually to soothe ourselves during situations of high mental stress. It’s a way to tell ourselves, “I’ll get through this” or “I’ll be OK.” When Rozlyn first takes a seat next to the host, she sits in a very awkward position, with one arm under her leg and hands clasped together. This represents an enormous self-touch, even a kind of “self-hug.” Later on during the segment, still coping with the stress, she changes this position slightly and moves her clasped hands to the front of her shin. These self-touches suggest she’s experiencing a large amount of stress
Shoulder Shrug:
Shrugging the shoulders is a classic sign of indifference or a lack of concern; it’s a wordless “I don’t know” or “whatever.” When Rozlyn definitively states to the other women, “I never have said a bad word about you,” she shrugs her shoulders. A shoulder shrug coupled with a definitive statement should always set off alarm bells, as it cancels out the statement it accompanies. In this case, Rozlyn’s shoulder shrug suggests she has, in fact, said negative things about her former fellow contestants.
Microexpressions:
Dr. Paul Ekman has conducted extensive research on how the 43 muscles in the human face work together to express emotion. He has discovered that there are seven universal emotions that every human being expresses—no race, gender, or age excluded. Throughout her interview, Rozlyn displays anger, contempt (mostly towards the host), disgust, fear, and surprise. Happiness is understandably absent, but never once does she show any microexpression of sadness, which would typically be felt by someone who is being wrongfully accused. When experiencing sadness, whether you realize this is what you are feeling or not, microexpressions of this emotion will leak out. Your eyebrows will rise up in the middle and come together, or the corners of your mouth will turn slightly downwards. Rozlyn never displays these requisite signs of sadness.
